You are my sunshine!

The very lovely Autismmumma has started a new linking all about positivity - go have a look http://www.autismmumma.com/2014/01/you-are-my-sunshine-a-new-weekly-linky/

It is all about celebrating the positive things in life, sometimes we get so bogged down in our day to day woes that we forget some of the truly amazing things, big and small, that happen all of the time.

Every week my sunshine is my wonderfully funny little C. Along with driving me crazy for most of the time. I love that we can't just watch Dancing on Ice, we have to act it out. I also love the absolute confidence she has in me being able to do anything. Including recreating the 'headbanger' without dropping her on her head. So far so good!!

But this week what has really made me smile (and I admit possibly shed the odd tear) is the huge amount of support I have had from friends old and new, online and offline for my attempt at being a Spartan, take a look at http://bendyspartan.blogspot.co.uk it is amazing how support and a few simple words of encouragement can do so much.

So although today is a sore day, my glass if definitely half full and I have a smile on my face. I hope you do too.

2014 - stronger, fitter, faster

So it's that time for resolutions. Except this isn't a resolution, this is a plan, this is a change, this is not allowing EDS hypermobility (check out http://www.ehlers-danlos.org for info) stop me from being who I want to be. 

The plan has been forming since last year - I was out of action for most of last year thanks to a shoulder injury but now is the time to get serious about getting fit.

Yes I want to shift a few pounds, oh ok stones, but that's not really the aim. The aim is to be as fit and healthy as I can possibly be. I know the fitter and stronger I am the better my symptoms are so it makes sense right? 

So fitness wise, I WILL do the Spartan Sprint in September. I am starting Insanity on Monday as a kick start to the training, by the way I am terrified! 

Diet, no I am not on a diet, this isn't something that I will do until I'm a size 8, this is for the rest of my life. It is not about denying myself it is about giving my body the right fuel it needs to do its job. If, on occasion that fuel needs to be chocolate, so be it! I will continue to use myfitnesspal.com to track everything and use the amazing support that is on there. 

I'll be blogging my training, the highs and the lows, to raise awareness of EDS which can be so debilitating but I'll try my best not to moan when I can't train because something has popped out! I am happy to say I'll still pop onto #wobblesWednesday too.  

So wish me luck, I have a feeling I will need it! 

Excuses, excuses, excuses!

Things have not gone to plan! Shoulder is still ruling out a lot of exercise, it was feeling loads better and I was getting all optimistic then I spent a day carrying a handbag and a day carrying goody bags round Glasgow (the joys of being a fundraiser!) and it kind of went back to square one. However, I have self diagnosed the problem but will need to wait until I speak to the physio in a couple of weeks before I can really move forward.

I am currently loaded with the cold leaving me with an appetite for junk.

I am in the middle of planning the little ladies birthday party (which she has been planning since last November) spending a lot of time making stuff so leaving little time for exercise but on the upside PVA glue and food do not mix well.

But these are all excuses aren't they?

Why is taking care of ourselves and doing the right thing so blooming hard sometimes?

I'm ill I need to eat better not worse but this is not the logic that is applied to my little brain.

If I really tried I'm sure I could fit some exercise in somewhere - although an extra hour or two in the day would be nice and I am not giving up any more sleep than I normally do!

Today I made a sensible lunch choice and did not buy any chocolate, this feels like a massive achievement! But I'm not getting cocky, I'll be at work till 7.30 and the temptations of the train station await.......

What I need to do is stop making excuses, dig deep and move forward - wish me luck!

Set backs and steps forward

Well this week has been interesting! Went for physio on my shoulder on Thursday and while the physio doesn't think its a frozen shoulder she isn't 100% sure what it is so I have 6 weeks of physio then a referral to orthopaedics, so basically this physio WILL work as I'm not up for an operation :-)
Mean while no exercise other than physio that involves my shoulder, so a lot of thinks involve your shoulder, but I remained fairly positive and was looking at ways of exercising round it.

Then on Friday I did something to my back (bearing in mind I'm being ultra good and not lifting!) I think that actually while the physio was checking how unstable my shoulder is and possibly slightly knocked a vertebrae out! Took it easy on Saturday but then was up from 4.30am in agony.

Sunday morning saw a trip round hospitals resulting in anti-inflammatories and pain killers.
The pain my back has now eased off, so thankfully I have stopped the painkillers as they were making me feel rubbish.

I tried very hard to be good with food but I have to be honest I've not been great, chocolate and crisps have featured as has pizza due to not fancying standing cooking.

But I've not gone crazy and today I am drawing a line. An injury is not an excuse for letting healthy eating for out of the window in fact it makes it more important than ever.

I'm very frustrated at not being able to exercise and know that this will potentially result in more injuries, I use exercise to control by hypermobility and rely on my muscles to hold everything together so today I shall be working out a plan to at least be doing something!

So this week I shall be concentrating on keeping food healthy and good as well as trying to work out some kind of exercise plan.

How has your week been?

Learning to listen.....

Yesterday was a tough day (food wise) I was tired, thank you C who has taken to waking up at 4.30am and only going back to sleep if I am in her bed cuddling her in, so I've effectively been awake from 4.30am - yes this is the middle of the night for the last few nights, I was cold, summer is definitely done and I was a bit bored, I had an application to write and was procrastinating!

Now being tired, cold and bored means one thing I get hungry. Except I don't get hungry really. I get the 'want' for food for something to do and to keep me awake. But yesterday I listened to my hunger not my 'want'. I did add an extra snack but who can resist Soreen, right? I also had an Options Hot Chocolate as a treat but at 60 cals that's a treat I can live with! But I did not stuff myself with the junk I so badly wanted. I went out at lunchtime and even took my purse because 'I might want to buy cake' but I talked myself out of it as I wandered around Lakeland looking at things to make cake! I really, really wanted to stop in at the pasty shop at the station on the way home, but I didn't. I was very tempted to join in the deliciousness by munching through Bake Off, but the kitchen door remained shut!

I wanted these things but a little switch clicked in my brain and I as much as I wanted them and did not want them as much as I want to be in good shape and health. It was hard, I am not denying I didn't battle with myself all day but when it came down to it I feel so much better knowing I won the battle yesterday.

Maybe, just maybe this time I'm going to do this!

16 weeks to go......

......until Christmas! Don't shout at me. Although I do love Christmas and even writing that has got me a bit giddy! But 16 weeks until Christmas that is 16 weeks to make a huge difference! It may be a touch shallow but my sister in law is coming over from Australia for Christmas and I do not want to look fat and frumpy in the photos! So 16 weeks: I would ideally like to lose a stone, which I reckon is doable, but to be honest I know I am pretty muscly and weigh heavy anyway so not too concerned about the numbers, it will be all about the measurements.

Last week went OK, the weekend was a bit wobbly, lots of kids, no time for exercise, in a grump at myself for not hitting my exercise goals and in a grump with Mr F for managing to go and play football 3 times in the week and have a night out when I was lucky to get a shower to myself!

Oh well, have become at one with the fact that I can only do what I can do, cheering myself up with chocolate and Chinese is indeed counter productive! Shoulder is still sore so that is hampering exercise as am limited to what I can and can't do. Gave swimming a go, not a good idea!

So this week I have planned some exercise slots, I will make the most of my active little monkey and get in some exercise that way and I will focus on 16 weeks.

Toddles off singing Jingle Bells and wonders if its too early to get the decorations out .................

Fear factor

Kids are fearless right? They are meant to be, aren't they?

To be honest C is probably a little too fearless. She thinks nothing of flinging herself in the swimming pool but has learnt how to keep herself afloat and swim to the nearest aid to non drowning! She rides her bike at ridiculous speeds, removing her stabilisers when she was three by telling nursery she'd taken them off at home then coming home to tell me I don't need them anymore I can ride the two wheeler at nursery. Heights don't matter. But she has learnt to calculate risk, she will think how badly things could go wrong before leaping off the top of the climbing frame. And yes there have been tumbles and tears, but she gets right back up and tries again until she doesn't fall. Yes, there are occasions when I look away, cross my fingers and hope we don't need a trip to A & E. But on the whole we encourage her 'adventurous spirit', we teach her she can do anything if she tries and practices, we are there to rescue her when she gets stuck at the top of a climbing net. But I want my little girl to grow up thinking she can do what ever she wants and she can be whoever she wants to be. To learn that there will be knocks along the way but you need to deal with these and learn from them.

No the point of this post is sometimes do we instil fear into our kids? Yes they need to be aware of danger and there are some things that are off limits because it is too dangerous. But do we sometimes make them scared to try things? We were at a fun day at the weekend and there was a climbing wall (one where you are harnessed in, not much harm can come to you except maybe a couple of bruises or scrapes). Two of the wee girls (both 6) we were with asked to have a go, there Mum's immediate reaction was 'you'll never do that, you are too much of a scaredy cat'. I have to be honest I was a bit taken aback, if your Mum doesn't believe in you what chance do you have?

So what do you think, should we embrace kids fearlessness or encourage them to be cautious?

PS I asked C if she wanted a go. Her answer was; 'can you do it not being strapped in?' No you have to be strapped in 'nah I'll not bother then!'